Seishi
by DragonflyonBreak
Summary: Leonardo deals with the pain of losing Master Splinter. Spoilers for "The Invasion", set after "Within the Woods". In the 2k12 universe. Implied character death.


**A/N** New fandom! This is very exciting. :) This is set _after _Within the Woods (which I haven't seen yet cause it hasn't been released) and is what I can imagine Leonardo doing after everything catches up to him. Hope you enjoy it. :)

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><p>The soft <em>snap-crack<em>-ing sound of a match being struck broke the strange silence of the forest. It's soft warm glow was the only light source around other then the moon far, far above him.

Leonardo carefully lit the candles and incense that he'd taken from April's farmhouse and placed around the tree of his choosing. They illuminated the words he'd carved deep into the tree perfectly.

_はまとよし_

_Hamato Yoshi_

It had taken him several days to decide before he finally settled on this particular tree. It was tall and grand and powerful looking - much older than the other ones surrounding it and healthiest by far... and it was close to a small babbling brook that added to the peaceful atmosphere.

He liked it. He liked its wide, thick trunk, its sturdy limbs, and the lush green leaves it had. And other then the stars at night, it was probably the _only_ thing he liked about this place. In a way, it almost reminded him of the tree back home in New York. It commanded a certain amount of awe and respect that the other ones around just couldn't seem to manage.

It reminded him of his father. And it was the only one that could do what he needed it to do.

Blowing out the match, he tossed it on to the plate he'd brought with him so it wouldn't accidentally cause a fire and kneeling down, bowed his head in a show of reverence.

He hadn't invited his brothers to come with him - in fact he hadn't even told them he was doing this. Michelangelo, he knew, still held on to the hope that Master Splinter was alive and Leonardo wasn't going to be the one to take that from him.

With so few things to hope for right now... he just couldn't take that away from his brother. And he'd have words with anybody who tried too.

He was unsure what kind of mourning Donnie and Raph had done during the past three months and he had felt hesitant to ask. Mourning was supposed to be private and he didn't want to awaken old wounds that would likely never completely heal. Leo just couldn't bring himself ask them to go through all that again just for him.

Maybe there was a chance... maybe Mikey was right and Splinter had survived... but the odds of that were slim and in the case that he hadn't... their father's _seishin_ deserved peace.

His shrine, the tribute he'd made... it wasn't traditional in any sense of the word... But it was the best he could offer.

"_Otoosan_..." Leonardo began hesitantly, feeling tears spring into his eyes. He didn't bother to wipe them away and they ran quickly down his cheeks. "I'm so, so _sorry_. I'm sorry that I couldn't be there to help you... I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough and I'm sorry that I let _all _of this happen..." He bit back a quiet sob, wrapping his arms around himself as if it would help keep the emotion that suddenly wanted to come pouring out, in.

_He missed him._ Oh, lords above he missed him_ so_ much ... he wanted his father back and Leo wished he could be doing anything else but _this_.

But it had to be done. It _needed_ to be done. So after a moment, he took a deep, shuddering breath and forced himself to continue.

"But I promise that I will be strong for my brothers. I promise that I will be the leader that they deserve... the kind of leader that _you_ taught me to be. I'm getting stronger every day," He assured fiercely. "And I swear on my own life that when I am better, I will find a way to defeat the Kraang and stop Shredder. They won't be allowed to continue their reign of terror."

He waited for a moment but couldn't think of any other words to say. Sitting up and with trembling hands, he brought forward the two other objects he'd brought with him.

The first was an older family picture of all of them together that Leo had managed to find a frame for. Splinter was in the middle with two sons on each side of him. It was the day they'd all received their weapons and they each were wielding them with ridiculous little grins on their faces...

Master Splinter had his sword drawn too. He was tall, proud... looking every bit the powerful ninja that Leo remembered him to be.

And he looked happy. It was before they'd ever gone up to the surface, before the Kraang... before Shredder and Karai... before anything had happened.

Wiping away tears, Leonardo placed it with the utmost care between two candles as the base of the tree.

The second object was one of his own tanto blades. Japanese warriors were supposed to be buried with their weapons and the knife was the first of its kind that his father had given him to train with. So, with a powerful thrust, he drove the blade deep into the bark of the tree besides his father's name until only the hilt was left visible.

"You have my solemn promise, Father." Leo swore, standing up. "I will fix this."

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><p><strong>AN **_Seishi _mean "life and death" in Japanese.

I don't actually know if Japanese warriors are buried with their weapons - it seems like a thing that they'd do. I did try to look it up but I wasn't really finding anything so I just went with it. I apologize if I'm wrong.

I really just like the idea of Leo mourning for Splinter and even if he _isn't_ dead, the guys don't know that. After everything that has happened to Leo, getting beat into a 3 month long coma, losing New York and Splinter, having to deal with both the pain and frustration of recovery... it can't be easy for him and I tried to give him a way to let it out. He's stubborn and trying to be brave when he's just really, really lost and sad.

DragonflyonBreak


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